Two Idiots Stole an ATM, Then Accidentally Set Their Van on Fire While Trying to Rob Store

At first, we thought this was Hairball in the footage because of the plumber's crack, but our thoughts were wrong.

Detectives in Portland Oregon are asking citizens to help them identify these two thieves caught on camera stealing an ATM.

Two individuals backed a van through the front of a Fastrak Food Mart, located at 2431 Northeast Broadway Street. They gained access to the local business on November 29, 2022, at 4:35 a.m.

Once they broke inside, the burglars loaded an ATM into the back of their stolen van.

Here is the video footage captured of the two criminals.

WARNING: A bum crack can be seen throughout most of the video... This is basically pornography.

After the two burglars got the ATM into the van and fled the scene, they stopped in the parking lot of 12414 East Burnside and attempted to gain access to the ATM's contents.

During the process, they accidentally started a large fire. Photos of the fire can be seen in the video above.

The Portland Police Bureau said, "Anyone who believes they know who the suspects are, or believes they have information about the case, is asked to contact Detective Meredith Hopper at Meredith.hopper@police.portlandoregon.gov"