Following the news of Ozzy Osbourne canceling his 2020 North American tour, a new interview with the heavy metal icon has been published. While speaking with Kerrang!, Ozzy shares more about his recovery, adding he isn’t happy since he doesn’t have his health.

Ozzy Osbourne was seemingly indestructible for the first 70 years of his life, cheating death more times than Black Sabbath have released albums. However, one fall while walking to the bathroom put the singer’s life into jeopardy; a life’s he’s been working hard to reclaim since early 2019.

“I fell over, and bashed my head as I went down,” Ozzy remembers. “And I lay there thinking quite calmly to myself, ‘Well, you’ve really fucking done it now.’ I went to the hospital and they found this thing in my spine. In your spinal cord, each bit has fluid round it, but it was all pinched and the fluid wasn’t getting to it. I was in fucking agony.”

“My arm went fucking dead, and I’m only just getting the feeling back. I got a staph infection in my thumb. Fixed that. Then I had the accident. Then I came out of that and I got pneumonia. That didn’t go away. I thought, ‘Why don’t you just fucking kill me?’”

Recording “Take What You Want” with Post Malone helped bring Ozzy back from a major depression, as did the entire process for his newest album, Ordinary Man. He’s also been keeping in touch with Slash, Korn’s Jonathan Davis as well as Black Sabbath bandmates Tony Iommi and Bill Ward.

As for what music he’s been listening to during his recovery, Ozzy has a special spot for Marilyn Manson’s latest album, Heaven Upside Down, and the standout single “Say10.”

“Am I happy now? No. I haven’t got my health,” Ozzy continues. “That thing knocked the shit out of me, man, but I’m still here. In fact, I worried about [death] more when I was younger than I do now. I just try to enjoy things as much as possible, even though that’s so fucking hard sometimes.”

Ozzy Osbourne aims to reschedule his canceled North American tour dates as soon as he’s able. Ordinary Man will be released worldwide on Feb. 21.

Photos: Ozzy Osbourne Through the Years