The 2024 Summer Olympics have been underway for about one week and at the time of writing, the United States leads the total medal count with France in 2nd, and China in 3rd.

In early July, we learned that Iowans have won 13 gold medals in the summer Olympics, not counting team sports where teammates were born in different states.

Sadly, 99% of people don't become Olympic athletes. It could be argued that Olympic athletes are the peak of human athletic ability. Athletes participating in the Olympic games aren't just the best in their hometown, state, or country. They are considered the best athletes you'll find in the entire world. Many of these athletes won the genetic lottery and then took those genetics to the highest level humanly possible through extremely hard work and dedication.

Not all of us are blessed with a god-given athletic ability or genetics, and not all of us have the work ethic it takes to compete at that level, and that's okay! The world needs doctors, lawyers, nurses, bankers, first responders, farmers, engineers, waste management, teachers, etc.

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For the rest of us "regular" people, I've put together a list of some events/competitions that Iowans would be guaranteed to medal in if they were in the Olympics!

*Sarcasm Warning*

The Iowa Olympics

If these events were added to the Olympics, Iowa would be taking home the gold, silver, and bronze medals in every event. I'd be surprised if anyone else even wanted to partake in the competition because the domination from Iowa would be too overwhelming.

• 1. Busch Light Beer Chugging - You know the story. More Busch Light is shipped to Iowa than anywhere in the world. There's a reason for that. Some Iowans might hate this stereotype and hate Busch Light...but sometimes, stereotypes can prove to be true. No place on earth downs Busch Light like Iowa, and I'd put us up against the rest of the world with 100% confidence.
• 2. Detasseling Corn - BRING IT ON! Do you know how many Iowans' first job was detasseling corn? Me either because I can't find a real answer on the internet...but I know for a fact there are hundreds if not thousands of Iowans who have been doing this task since they were in grade school. Which state provides the most corn? Which state is nicknamed the Corn State? Check and then Checkmate to the rest of earth.
• 3. Combine Racing - Now...I do understand that Iowa isn't the only place you can find combines. Combines can be found in all 50 states in America and I'm sure there are some incredible combine drivers in every corner of the country. But when it comes to the amount of real farmers who use these machines regularly, Iowa is second to none. Illinois, Nebraska, and Minnesota all have fine combine drivers, but they wouldn't stand a chance against our hardworking men and women in a combined race! Do I need to retrace back to event number 2 about providing the entire country with corn?
• 4. Rock Picking - We're on a bit of a farming theme here and we're going to keep that theme rolling. Iowa has somewhere around 87,000 farms, according to Iowa State University Ag Decision Maker. What do all of these farms have in common? They need to be cleared of rocks. It's just part of the farm lifestyle. A huge number of Iowans live this farm lifestyle and have been picking rocks since their parents brought them out to the field for the first time.
• 5. Husband Calling Contest - This is a staple contest at the Iowa State Fair! After watching these ladies call their husbands, I don't think I need to add much on why Iowa would dominate.

If "complaining about roundabouts" was an Olympic event, I'm sure Iowa would fare well. "Surviving daily drives with people who don't use blinkers" also comes to mind. Iowans compete in this event everytime they drive somewhere.

Keep our list going! What other unique events do you think Iowa would be top performers in if they became Olympic events? Let us know in the comments!