Greek statues have small penises because the Greeks considered large ones to be gross and comical!

While today, men would prefer to have a large penis. This was not the case in ancient Greece. Experts have actually studied ancient Greek genitalia extensively. Back then, in highbrow culture, large penises were actually considered grotesque, comic or both. The Greeks actually desired small, thin penises. Hence, this ideal small representation on their statues.

**Another reason to believe I have no Greek heritage.