Health Food Sucks! The Kale Version

Health Food Sucks! The Kale Version.

Seriously, health food really sucks. I want to be healthy. I want to eat better, but outside of tasty, sweet fruit, all health food tastes like bad dog food. Especially KALE! Why in the HELL would anyone put that in their mouth on purpose? It's like a green, leafy antifreeze.

Did you ever notice that no one...and I mean no one...eats kale by itself? Yep, they drown it in Greek  yogurt or a pound of sugar to make it taste good. The people that do eat it always brag about it. Do you know why? Because it's a feat in itself to even swallow the crap without tossing your cookies. I'd brag too.

In reality, this kale and health food kick, and the "I feel so much better" phrase you hear from your health nut friends, is all in their head. People will believe ANYTHING you tell them. At some point, some dr. looking dude said to someone to eat this crap and everyone believed him, so now everyone is following everyone else.

So, if someone tries to look down their nose at you for not eating healthy or for not exercising enough, just laugh in their face and keep eating your cheeseburger and fries. Don't forget to notice the unhappy frown on their faces too. They don't want you to know this, but their "healthy" lifestyle is making them MISERABLE.

Live by this and you'll be fine: EVERYTHING IN MODERATION. Duh!

(Video courtesy of jimgaffigan via Youtube)