Dumb Criminal – Imaginary Friend Murderer

It's not very often that a criminal turns him or herself and confesses to a crime. Our dumb criminal today did just that. He confessed to killing his imaginary friend. So today's Dumb Criminal is an Imaginary Friend Murderer.

It shouldn't be a surprise that this takes place in Florida, since most weird ass crimes happen there. We're still not sure why Florida harbors so many crazy ass people, but we'll just be happy we're not there and their dumb criminals are not here.

Geoff Gaylord walked into the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office and confessed to killing his BFF. Yep, his imaginary friend "Mr. Happy". According to Gaylord, "Mr. Happy" and him were friends for 7 years and did all sorts of wonderful things together, like playing on playground equipment and listening to "Doom Metal" in the dark. But, after 7 years of being BFF's Gaylord couldn't take it anymore and stabbed "Mr. Happy" and then chopped him up with a hatchet and buried him in his back yard. After confessing, Gaylord asked for the death penalty.

So, why did Gaylord hack up his imaginary buddy? 'He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen... never picked up his empty cocaine baggies...He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn't get it clean...Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF'

Then this happened, 'That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him.'

Gaylord ended up getting arrested, but not for murder, he threatened police for not giving him the death penalty. Police found drug paraphernalia and a machine gun in Gaylord's house, and was booked on multiple charges.

(Source: Random Enthusiasm)